Ever needed a Holiday from your Holiday? Here’s why!

It's been a massive week. Celebrating a family wedding last weekend was a huge highlight, but by Monday morning, all that excitement and surging adrenaline was taking its toll. My body was calling for a day off, the perfect recovery for a busy brain. In my head, the day off was rejuvenating. In reality, the end result was something quite different. Two coffees, three Netflix shows and some post-celebratory cupcakes later, and I was more exhausted than before.

I know what you're thinking. Duh, Julia. Doomscrolling and bed rotting is clearly not going to make you feel rested. But is anyone else brave enough to admit that the path of least resistance is the one most easily taken when we are under the pump?

There's a really good reason why we reach for things that don't actually rest us, even when we need it most. When our brains are low on resources and dopamine, quick and easy stimulation is exactly what we're wired to seek out. The Netflix, the blobbing out, the cupcakes - such great cupcakes - these all feel like they should be restful because, in the moment, they require nothing from us.

But There Are Two Problems With This Plan

1. When we get real downtime, minus the screen and the Netflix, our Default Mode Network (the screensaver mode of our brain) kicks in and does some very important jobs. It activates a de-frag, allowing our brain to sort through loose ends, make connections, solve problems and make sense of the week. Picking up the phone or flicking on a show interrupts the process, and the important task remains undone, so the relaxation can't truly kick in.

2. While the coffee, the sugar and the passive media consumption feel good in the moment, the fast burst of energy has a longer-term crash later in the day.

I call it the ‘day off hangover’. No chance to process what's already in our brains, and the added sting of an energy slump, just when we should be feeling better.

🔬 Science Spot

Stephen Kaplan's Attention Restoration Theory found that genuine psychological recovery requires 'soft fascination,' gentle activities that give your brain space rather than more to process. Nature, quiet movement, and pottering all qualify. Your phone does not.

Two Small Shifts That Made a Difference

Turns out the answers may be simpler than you think.

1. Split it in half. A more realistic approach is to go 50/50 with the path of least resistance. Give yourself a time limit for scrolling, with an alarm that goes off as a reminder. Enjoy the indulgence, but commit to making it what it is, a short-term solution.

2. Go lightly. Think a slow walk without a podcast, pottering in the garden, or sitting outside with a cup of tea. Your hands are occupied, but your mind is finally free - yay!

What Actually Happened

The 'day off hangover' was a disappointing end to the day, but it was interrupted by an invitation from my mother-in-law. Walking the dog, in the sun, no rush, no phones, no agenda. I'll be honest, I didn't immediately feel like I had the energy to go, but I know enough about being kind to my mind to know that it was exactly what I needed.

Thirty minutes later, and while life wasn't suddenly perfect, I was feeling pretty great. Tired, yes, but from doing something. The path of slightly more resistance was the one I needed - thanks Sue!

How do you make sure you don't need a day off from your day off? I'd love to hear in the comments.

Aroha nui.

Julia Grace | Be Kind to Your Mind

References

The science in this article draws on the following research and resources, because if I'm going to tell you how your brain works, I should probably be able to back it up.

Kaplan, S. (1995). The restorative benefits of nature: Toward an integrative framework. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 15(3), 169–182.

Kaplan, R. & Kaplan, S. (1989). The Experience of Nature: A Psychological Perspective. Cambridge University Press.